Cassie Snowbound

Why didn't you wear a coat Cassie? That's what I expect you're going to say. As if anybody wears a coat going out clubbing. I mean it's not like there's anywhere to leave a coat, it's not like you're going to die of cold going from club to club, it's not like it's cool to have a coat! Then you'll ask why I wasn't wearing underwear; well I'll have you know with boobs like mine a bra is superfluous to requirements - and not because they're small if that's what you’re thinking, it's because they're firm and are perfectly all right without support thank you very much. And as for knickers, I haven't worn them since I left the school netball team, and I've never really seen the point of a thong.

So that was why I was dressed in nothing but my lovely crimson sparkly party dress. Tight enough to show off my trim figure (no panty lines), short enough to show off my legs and low enough to show off my boobs. I loved that dress from the moment I first saw it. It was beautiful. It was just right. It was perfect. It was also bloody expensive. Just so you know!

The problem was not that I wasn't wearing panties. The problem was that we lived in Newton-on-the-Moor. I was still living with my parents then. Eighteen years old in my last year before going to Uni. The trouble with places with names like 'on-the-Moor' is that they tend to be in the middle of nowhere and our house was no exception. This meant that I had to drive into town because there's like no public transport to places called 'on-the-Moor'.

I'd arranged to sleep over at Sandie's of course. I mean who wants to drive home at three o'clock in the morning, but then who wants to sleep over with someone who's just spent the whole evening hitting on your BF, correction, ex-BF. Just because she's got long legs and pretends to be a blonde. If he got into her knickers he'd soon find out that she wasn’t a real blonde. I, on the other hand, am a brunette above and below - at least I would be if I didn't keep myself nice and smooth. Well who wants to be hairy down there - it's not as if I'm French or anything.

It was all because I wouldn't give him a snog outside. When I say 'snog' you must understand that I'm being polite! I mean a... Well you know what I mean. I don't have to spell it out.

"Well you're dressed for it," he said.

"It's too bloody cold," I said, "you're not getting into my knickers out there!"

"You're not wearing any," he said.

Men can be so VULGAR!

So I was having to drive home, all the bloody way home, all the bloody way to Back of Beyond-on-the-Moor.

And those idiots on the weather forecast had got it all wrong. They hadn't said it was going to snow, but snow it did, and when it snows, places called 'on-the-Moor' get more snow than anywhere else.

I was driving my stupid brother's car. It won't go up hills when it's slippy. I mean he says it's the way I drive, but what does he know?

To get onto the moor you have to get up Knocklaw Bank, so it was no surprise that it started slipping half way up and in twenty yards came to a grinding halt, wheels spinning all over the place. Half past three and not another vehicle in sight. I picked up the mobile to call those AA people. I mean my brother pays them a load of money so why shouldn't they come out. Except that there's no mobile phone reception on Knocklaw Bank. I should have known it of course, there's never any reception when you want it. I'd just have to wait till morning. I wrapped the rug round me, turned off the engine and went to sleep.

I woke in the morning stiff and cold to a world that was absolutely blanketed in white. Bloody hell! It would do that when I'm stuck in the car. What on earth was I to do? I switched the engine on to warm the car up and considered my position. My parents thought I was at Sandie's and would never come looking for me, my brother was away skiing in Switzerland, the bloody AA couldn't be contacted and I was nearly out of fuel. Great! I looked back down the road. Now that it was light I could see that the road could be passable going downhill, if only I could dig myself out the drift. There was the big hotel at Knockshieling Lodge about half a mile back. I could get down there, get some breakfast and wait to be rescued. It was a nice comfy place to wait. All I had to do was dig myself out.

One advantage of being in a brother's car is that brothers tend to be practical. They carry shovels in the car boot, at least if they live in Back of Beyond-on-the-moor like we do, they do. All I had to do was get digging and I would escape. But I couldn't dig in my sparkly party dress could I. It was: a) far too tight and b) far too expensive to risk getting torn and dirty. I should have brought a coat. Why had nobody made me take a coat! People can be so inconsiderate!

I could have waited in the car I suppose, but then I'd probably have had to wait absolutely ages, and it was boring and I fancied breakfast at Knockshieling Lodge. And I wanted a pee. Well I had been stuck in the car all night hadn’t I?

Then the solution came to me. I took off the sparkly party dress and left it on the back seat. It was really rather fun being naked in the car. I even took my shoes off – I wasn’t getting them damaged and horrible and wet. My feet could put up with the cold for a bit. Not that I was getting out the car naked. I had a big woollen tartan rug. I wrapped it round me. It felt really tickly against my bare skin, but I reckoned it would keep me nice and warm. It really tickled my bare nipples, what with being naked and cold and all that, they were really hard and sensitive, so I rubbed them a bit to make them less tickly.

I opened the car door and stepped out into the cold. Brrrrr!! It was CHILLY! I slammed the car door shut to keep the warmth in, but the draught caught up the corner of the rug and in a second it was jammed in! You think that would be no problem, that all I’d have to do was open the car door, but you’d be wrong. Just as the door slammed shut I heard an ominous clicking noise and I remembered. It was one of those stupid American cars – you know the sort, the ones that lock automatically when you have the engine running because if you don’t lock your car door in America hordes of people will jump in and kidnap you. Well because of the stupid American kidnappers I was now locked of the car! Wearing nothing but a tartan plaid rug! And that was jammed in the door!

I pulled and pulled, but it wouldn’t come free, and do you know what? It wasn’t all that warm either. In fact it was bloody cold. The horrible truth dawned on me. I was going to freeze to death and be found naked in the snow. How embarrassing!

The I went and had a pee and thought. Don’t go imagining me naked in the snow having a pee mind! Oh you are!  Well, go on, have a good look, don’t mind me.

Then the solution occurred to me. It’s amazing what having a pee can do for the thought process. Half a mile away was Knockshieling Lodge, with a big warm fire and hot muffins for breakfast – like real muffins toasted with butter, not stupid American ‘muffins’ which are just buns without decent icing. I mean I could manage to walk half a mile through the snow with nothing on couldn’t I? Piece of cake (not muffin).

It was just walking down the road, but the snow was at least a foot deep, well ten inches anyway. Have you ever walked through the snow with nothing on? I bet you haven’t! Well it’s cold I can tell you that. My mother always says when there’s a cold wind blowing “It cut through me like I had nothing on” well all I can say id she should try it really with nothing on, then she’d know the difference. My skin was all covered in goose pimples and bright pink, and my nipples! They were so hard I thought they’d drop off. I had to keep rubbing them so they didn’t get frostbite. It was, to put put it briefly, totally exhilarating! I have never felt anything so totally erotic as the cold wind whipping over my bare skin. To be completely naked and completely exposed to thje elements it was fantastic. I started to run, to run naked through the snow, kicking it up so that little crystals of ice coated my bare breasts, went up between my legs, worked their way up my... Well you get the picture! That was the best thing, but that was nothing to the worst thing. The worst thing of all was my feet. You don’t know how cold snow is until you’ve tried walking in it in bare feet. After twenty yards I couldn’t feel them. They were completely numb. After forty yards I wished I couldn’t feel them they were so painful. After a hundred yards I fell over in the snow. It was absolutely freezing. I tried to stand up and couldn’t I fell down and rolled, and slid and bounced down the steep slope of Knocklaw Bank. Which was quite good because by the time I got to my feet I was only two hundred yards from Knockshieling Lodge, and do you know what? I ran all the way there, visions of a roaring log fire and toasted muffins driving me on!

I suppose I must have looked a bit of a sight when I staggered in through the door. After all my hair was all over the place and I was covered in scratches and grazes. But there was no need to for that boy to stare so much.

"I know my hair's in a mess," I said, “but there's no need to look like that!" Well honestly! Some people have no manners!

"I'll have breakfast please," I said. I could be polite even if he couldn't, "Have it brought on a tray. Coffee. Freshly squeezed orange juice. Toasted muffins. I'll have it by the fire. I need to toast my toes. My feet are frozen. You might not have noticed but I've got nothing on!"

"Er... Are you resident Miss?"

"Of course I'm not resident. I'd hardly come to breakfast with nothing on if I was a resident would I? My car's stuck in the snow." Honestly did I have to spell it out for the boy!

"But Miss, how are you going to pay?"

Drat! I hadn't thouight of that. Trust the stupid boy to be so mercenary.

"Somebody's coming to pick me up. They'll pay when they get here. Well I'm not going off anywhere dressed like this am I?"

"No Miss," he said, his eyes kept flicking down to my nicely shaved whatsit.

"And stop staring. Have you never seen a girl with no clothes on before?"

"No Miss. I mean yes Miss. I mean..."

He went bright red and his voice stuttered to a halt. I stood in the middle of the room put my hands in the air and did a twirl gyrating my hips.

"Have a good look," I said, "get it over with then perhaps we can get on."

"Yes Miss," he said, redder than ever.

"Arsehole," I said under my breath, but loud enough so that he heard, "and I don't mean mine. Get me a telephone. I need to phone those AA people."

The AA people were totally useless.

"Hundreds of people are stuck bla bla bla. It'll take hours bla bla bla..."

I mean, what does my brother pay them all that money for?

"Well I bet they're not all stuck outside their car with no clothes on!"

That should do the trick, I thought. Then I rang Sandie.

"Darling," I said, "Big Hugs!"

"Big Hugs," she said back.

"Darling," I said, "you have to do me the most gigantic favour."

"Oh yes?"

"I'm like stuck at the Knockshieling Lodge locked out the car with no money. You just like have to come and bail me out."

"No can do Darling."

Bastard!

"Please Darling," I tried to butter her up, "pretty please."

"Tell you what. I'll send Richard. He's been here all night."

Bastard! He'd been in her knickers! She was only doing it to gloat. Still - beggars can't and all that.

"Darling how marvellous!"

I put the phone down. The crumpets had arrived.

"Don't stare," I told the waiter, “it's rude!”

You'll notice that I hadn't told Sandie that I didn't have anything on. I wanted to give Richard a surprise.

Richard did get a surprise. I gave him a twirl as well.

"Fantastic Cassie," he said, "where's the car?"

"Half a mile up the road."

"And you walked down here dressed like that!"

"Why not? It was fun!"

"Well let's have more fun and walk back up. I'm good at getting into locked cars."

He paid the bill and we set off. It was hard going UP the hill, but with Richard it was real fun. And it was so sexy. Out in the snow. Naked. The wind whipping over my bare skin again. My nipples were up like walnuts and I was so turned on.

He got in the car in about five seconds. With the engine turned on all he had to do was poke a wire coat hanger down and press the open window button.

“Payment,” he said, “well I knew what he meant.

“Outside or in?”

“Outside of course.  Bend over the car.  It’ll be fun.”

So I gave him a ‘snog’ outside on the snow. (Nudge, nudge – you know what I mean!) Well I was dressed for it, and he didn't need to get into my knickers. I wasn't wearing any!

It was just a pity the AA man turned up then. But who cares, it would have been a shame to stop even though my bum was getting frostbite!